Anyone who knows me personally knows I enjoy listening and reading the work of inspirational people and seek to apply their skills, knowledge, and processes to my own life. I recently listened to Tait Fletcher on Bert Kreischer’s podcast and it had a prospective shifting effect on me.
For anyone who doesn’t know who Tait Fletcher is, let me break it down. Tait was born in a small town in Michigan to a loving family, but not in the best social circumstances. He fell into a colorful group that partook in colorful activities. He mad mistakes. He disappointed people. He failed, but he also learned and grew from these things. He asked himself questions like, where do I want to be in 6 months, 1 year, 3 years and am I making daily decisions to get me closer to that vision of what my life is.
Tait discovered martial arts, specifically stick fighting with the Dog Brothers and jiujitsu (He is a 10th Planet Old G). He became a professional fighter, a body guard to Joe Rogan, and has transitioned into stunt work, acting and the coffee business as well as a few other companies. The common thread in all of these has been he wants to create a movement, but more on that in a minute.
Fate vs Destiny
Tait said on this recent podcast that he used to think fate and destiny were the same thing. He later discovered they are not. Fate is life happening to you. Destiny is something you fight for and seek out your purpose in life. Finding your purpose might be the first challenge in discovering your destiny, but as long as you keep walking towards the next good thing you eventually discover that purpose.
Clearly you must maintain a balance when seeking your purpose. We have all heard about the people that drop everything and say they are 100% all in to chase their dream. Tait offered a realistic and profound perspective on that attitude that I relate to. If you are giving up everything for that “thing” you are probably a dickhead and that is really a self centered way to go about your life, so stop that shit. Its also not true, you are not giving up everything for that dream, you are just a drama queen and you’ll make a great girlfriend someday. So many times when we hear motivational speakers talk about chasing your dreams. Just do it! Go for it! Well, at what expense? You can’t go all in every time. You need to do the thing you have to do, to be able to the thing you want to do and get that soul food.
When Elisabeth and I started Fight Chix in 2006, we didn’t have a plan. I was working 2 jobs as a designer and bouncer. Elisabeth was doing hair out of the house and bar tending at night, and we just had our son Jase. As Fight Chix grew we didn’t abandon those other things that provided for our family. It has always been a grind and struggle, but also a passion that we appreciated and enjoyed. Living in that state of appreciation and not in a state of whining is so profound. Yes its a struggle. I would be in a Vegas VIP one weekend and throwing trash at the bar the next. It keeps you humble, grounded, and appreciative of what is really important.
Tait on Commitment
Commitment in a relationship means different things to different people, but again, its all about perspective and appreciation. Tait talked about an old man who has been married a long time. This old man thought about times he might have talked down to his wife, picked on little things she did etc. He then spoke about how he would admire her, compliment her and even just think fond thoughts of her. And he loved her even more. Where is the grass greener? The grass is greener where you water it! I heard this and knew I was doing that with Elisabeth, but I also knew I could do it more with my kids and with other people—focus on the positive and build people up and that momentum continues.
The movement I mentioned before is so much more than just a business. The only way we are all saved is by being unified. All the negative bullshit out there, the hate, the way we tear each other down, that is all fear. The reason we have fear is because we don’t look inside ourselves and examine what is wrong with us. If we don’t examine ourselves we don’t know who we are and KNOWING who we are, well that is THE THING! Who are you at your core when everything else is stripped away? If that is your perspective when making choices or seeking your destiny, just imagine the positive impact you will have on the people around you and the world.
Another wise man that Tait spoke of had this thought. Have questions, not answers. When all you have is answers, you always have ground to defend. When all you have is questions the whole world opens up to you. Would you rather be loving and learning, or would you rather be right?
This perspective can keep a positive movement rolling forward. Reflect internally. Do what you can to make the path for those behind you easier. Consistently seek to improve. The world judges you on your actions, not your intentions.
Beautiful thoughts from an inspiring man. Thank you Tait Fletcher. #piratelife